Giving Feedback: Finding Your Voice In Therapy
By: Alaina Boyle (MA, LMHC)
Have you ever felt like you’re not benefiting from therapy as much as you’d like, or like something’s just not working? Has your therapist ever said something to you that didn’t land well, but you weren’t sure how to respond? Are you wanting to try something new in your sessions, but not sure how to make the shift?
At the end of the year, we gave you all the chance to provide anonymous feedback to our team and loved hearing from you! And, direct feedback to your care team is welcome anytime. In fact, hearing from you about what’s working or isn’t working is extremely helpful in shaping treatment and ensuring you get the best therapeutic outcomes. We know it can feel scary or awkward to bring up, so we’ve included some tips, tricks, and examples in this article to empower you to find your voice in therapy. After all, it’s your therapy and your therapist wants to know how best to support you!
Here are some common areas that clients may want to give feedback about, and some examples:
Sensory Needs
Example: “Sometimes it’s hard to focus in your office because your fountain feels really loud. Can you turn it off for our sessions?”
Language
Example: “When you casually used the word ‘queer’ to describe my relationship, that didn’t feel good because I’m actually in a straight T for T relationship and that’s not a term we use for ourselves”
Treatment Modality
Example: “I heard about something called EMDR from a friend and think it could be really helpful for my trauma symptoms. Is that a type of therapy you offer or could you help me find someone who does?”
Communication Needs
Example: “When you ask me right away ‘what emotions are you feeling today?’ at the start of every session, I feel put on the spot and overwhelmed. Can I have time to think about it and then write it down instead?”
Session Structure
Example: “I’ve noticed that we usually just jump in to talking when the session starts, but I wonder if more structure would help me make the most of our time. Could we try making a list of topics at the beginning and decide how much time to spend on each one?”
Most therapists will check in with you every once in a while about how you feel like sessions are going, which is a great time to share what’s going well or not. And, you can bring up feedback anytime! Feeling stuck? Here are some phrases to help start the conversation:
“I’ve been thinking about our sessions, and there’s something I wanted to ask you about.”
“Before we jump in today, can we talk about how therapy has been going?”
“Something I want to talk about today is how sessions are going and some feedback I have.”
And, you know what else is great about giving feedback in therapy? It’s one of the safest places to practice tricky conversations and assertive communication. You might even find that once you’ve had a constructive conversation with your therapist, it will be easier to express your needs to others in your life!
