Grief and Complex Emotions During the Holidays
By: Edgar Quiroz Sanchez (LMHCA)
The most wonderful time of the year?
The holiday season is often portrayed in music, advertisements, movies, and social discourse as the “happiest time of the year.” Despite the numerous hallmark rom-com movies and comedies, the reality is that for many individuals this time of year brings on a haze of stress, anxiety, depression, and a mix of other complex emotions. In fact, 64% of people with mental illness report their conditions worsen, and 3 in 5 Americans feel their mental health is negatively impacted by the holidays (NAMI, 2021).
Common Factors
Increased Stress: Around 89% of adults feel holiday stress, with 41% reporting higher levels than usual, linked to finances, time, and family (APA, 2023).
Grief & Loss: Nearly 40% of Americans have no interest in celebrating due to grief, while 36% don't want to celebrate at all because of loss. Gen Z and Millennials reported higher rates.
Complex Relationships: Holiday gatherings may create expectations to surround ourselves with family and peers who we have complex and or negative relationships with, contributing to heightened anxiety.
Powerful Reminders: Photos, memories, and rituals associated with the holidays can serve as powerful reminders of loved ones that are no longer present.
Tips
Practice grounding and mindfulness
Acknowledge and sit with difficult emotions
Don’t rely on drugs and alcohol to cope
Set realistic expectations and boundaries
Share feelings w/ trusted peers & express needs
64%
Coping
Coping will look different for everyone depending on symptom severity and causal factors. Nonetheless, there are some practices that are widely beneficial. Attending to the 5 senses using the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, for instance, can help interrupt rumination. Practice identifying 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. A second skill, Box Breathing, requires you to breathe in, hold, breathe out, and hold in again increments of 4 seconds to help you feel calm and regulate the nervous system. It helps to visualize a box, with each step as one side, as you breathe. Remember to, above all, center self-compassion.
